Nigeria: 8 Things That Make You Go Uhn...
1. When going in for surgery in some hospitals in Nigeria, you need to come with your own power supply. Do not rack your brains too hard, a generator rental store is coming to a hospital near you. Uhn.
2. Private citizens have voting machines at home. Uhn.
3. Robbers have you cornered off in a room, and one of them goes, "Na Tag be that?" (Referring to a Tag Heuer Watch). Uhn.
4. Robbers have a gun pointed at you, immediately you lay on the floor, and the guy goes, Why are you acting like a woman, who asked you to lie down? This one happened to me, I know, I know, I get Sissy-ish when a gun is pointed at my cranium.
5. You have a State owned SUV parked at your house for personal use, because you are dating the governors daughter. Uhn.
6. The special adviser to the assistant to the Deputy Governor has an 'official car' (Government issued car and driver) Uhn.
2. Private citizens have voting machines at home. Uhn.
3. Robbers have you cornered off in a room, and one of them goes, "Na Tag be that?" (Referring to a Tag Heuer Watch). Uhn.
4. Robbers have a gun pointed at you, immediately you lay on the floor, and the guy goes, Why are you acting like a woman, who asked you to lie down? This one happened to me, I know, I know, I get Sissy-ish when a gun is pointed at my cranium.
5. You have a State owned SUV parked at your house for personal use, because you are dating the governors daughter. Uhn.
6. The special adviser to the assistant to the Deputy Governor has an 'official car' (Government issued car and driver) Uhn.
7. Your well brought up, upright, self righteous Nigerian girl leave you a voice message on your phone, telling you how much they care and blah blah. Nice right? Let me finish...but she ends by saying "call me back Kunle, you know I care'. Uhn Uhn your name is David not Kunle. You call her back and it takes her two weeks to admit she was two timing. Uhn. My boy is presently going through a "I will never date a Naija chic moment" LOL.
8. You heard gun-shots all night, you step out of your fort in the morning and the guard asks, "Oga what happened yesterday?", Uhn shouldn't I be asking you that, last time I checked you get paid to be a security guard. Oh well didn't your resume say you were in World War II. Uhn
8. You heard gun-shots all night, you step out of your fort in the morning and the guard asks, "Oga what happened yesterday?", Uhn shouldn't I be asking you that, last time I checked you get paid to be a security guard. Oh well didn't your resume say you were in World War II. Uhn
13Comment(s):
I see u're fully back. LOL @ "You have a State owned SUV parked at your house for personal use, because you are dating the governors daughter." Funny, but true.
I don't blame u jere, acting all Sissy-ish with a gun pointed at ur cranium, knowing any mistake could be fatal.
Eyah, tell ur boy pele o. Kai! The gal's in a hot mess, can't even take responsibility for her act. Ur boy'll get over his funky state as soon as he meets a gengen Naija chic that'll rock his world.
Sad but true.
Glad you saved the best for last. #8 cracked me up big time. BTW, there is nothing sissyish about getting out of the path of a gun. Anyone, even the Terminator himself, would do the same.
"...special adviser to the assistant to the Deputy Governor..."
i guess the special adviser's special adviser may as well have an official car?
Wait!
the other day (you probably will not believe this) shortly after leaving london, on the M1 I was driving and heading towards the north. I was in the middle lane and doing 70mph. Suddenly, I sighted this ford focus belonging to the AA driving school zoom past me...he must have been doing at least 100mph - a driving instructor breaking the law? It certainly made me go Uhn!!
Hehehehehe!Naija!Omodudu, I am very curious about your African experiences, can you write more on that? I found the "khartoum" post especially interesting. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
@Cherub, the theif was even younger than I was, can you beat that. I was calling him sir throughout the episode.
@Koko, Nigeria is one giant movie set.
@Solomondyelle, my guard is like one of those guys in them Nollywood movies, never a dull moment.
@flying monkey..that made me go uhn uhn
@Wafarian, I actually have them written out o. I am very lazy when it comes to correcting grammar and stuff, for now those stories are fonfined to my draft folder.
Uhn....
:-)
LOL, that made me chuckle. Especially the two timing chick. What was her excuse, who was Kunle?
7. Your well brought up, upright, self righteous Nigerian girl leave you a voice message on your phone, telling you how much they care and blah blah. Nice right? Let me finish...but she ends by saying "call me back Kunle, you know I care'. Uhn Uhn your name is David not Kunle. You call her back and it takes her two weeks to admit she was two timing. Uhn. My boy is presently going through a "I will never date a Naija chic moment" LOL.
This one had me cracking up....but wait...nija chicks are not that bad.
Hilarious!the fact that it is all true is meant to make it sad...but wateva it was funny!
hmmm hahah those are hilariously funny! But still they are true and sad!!
Nice post, Omodudu!
:lol:
Uhn ! indeed